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You Have TWO Sets of Twins?

you have two sets of twins copyI can’t do this again.

“Is that two?” I asked Joyce, the nurse who was performing my ultrasound.

She said she wasn’t sure and left the room to fetch the doctor. Meanwhile, I’m lying on the table in a state of complete and total shock. I knew what I saw. I knew I saw 2 sacs, despite the fact that only 10 days before, we only saw one. My mind shifted to thoughts of my bff and business partner, Jamie, the only other woman I knew who had been blessed with 2 sets of twins. Then, my ears began ringing and images/sights/sounds from my boys’ traumatic birth 7 years ago at 28 weeks gestation, the birth in which I very nearly died as a result of HELLP Syndrome, flashed before my eyes.

I can’t do this again.

When you already have one set of twins, there is always a little niggle of terror in the back of your mind when you see the word “Pregnant” on the digital pregnancy test, a little niggle that continues until you get verification that there is indeed, only one single solitary little human being taking up residence in your uterus. To be clear, I was never afraid of raising twins again. I was only afraid of a twin pregnancy and birth.

The words kept repeating in my head and tears began streaming out of the corners of my eyes as I began begging God to be with me.

Dr. Carrillo came in and without a word slathered more gel on the wand and started looking.

“Yep, there’s definitely two,” she said. “Wait, ” she muttered to herself, “is there another one?”

Ya’ll my heart stopped when she said that. There wasn’t a third, thank the good Lord.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think so, but let’s get you in to see the perinatologist.”

“I can’t do this again.”

More tears.

“I cannot do this.”

“Yes, you can,” she said, as she grabbed my hands and pulled me close.

“Yes, you can.”

When we discovered we were having twins the first time way back in 2008, we were completely surprised. I may or may not have used the swears during the ultrasound when the tech squealed, “There’s two!” I mean, come on, TWINS?! No fertility treatments and no family history of twins, so yeah, it was a schmidge unexpected. My first set of twin boys were born at 28 weeks 5 days and spent 71 days in the NICU in Des Moines, Iowa.

You have TWO sets of twins? It was such a traumatic time in our lives, that my husband and I decided we were d.o.n.e. with children. No mas kiddos for us. I sold my 2 beautiful cribs, my 2 exersaucers, my double stroller, my swings, my bouncers and gave away all the clothes. We were done.

Well, through a chain of events dictated solely through and by the Grace of God, 5 years later, we discovered we were pregnant again. Our daughter Olivia was born in May 2014 and is an absolute delight. When I ended up pregnant again 15 months later, we weren’t terribly surprised by it. We’re adults, YES WE KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENS. I had a super early ultrasound and only one sac was visible.

Phew – – only 1 baby.

I can’t do this again.

“Yes, you can.”

Well, she was right. I could and I did. I was able to do it because He carried me. I was able to do it because of the incredible support of my family. I was able to do it because of the power of prayer.

Here we are almost 11 months from that day and I most certainly am doing this. Whatever this is. Some days it is nice and orderly and other days it is complete and total disordered chaos that consists of taking turns swaying each baby while the other one screams, praying the toddler isn’t playing in the toilet all the while repeating my own personal mantra “there is only one mommy” over and over. Mothering 2 sets of twins and a single in the middle. I never imagined this would be my life.

We had a bumpy ride in the beginning. My water broke at 28 weeks and my newest babes were born at 28 weeks 6 days, 1 day later than their older brothers. We spent 53 days in the NICU at Banner Desert. But the same condition that nearly took my life the first time around did NOT rear it’s ugly head again. And, although my second worst nightmare came true, our second time through the NICU was okay. We survived.

March 2016 - NICU

NICU selfie

These babies are different that my others. So much is the same, so much is different. But I wouldn’t change a thing. There is just something so special about being the mama of twins. With my older twins preparing to enter 3rd grade, I know how awesome the journey is and I am so excited to be on it.



One Response to You Have TWO Sets of Twins?

  1. Avatar
    Reina Carrillo February 21, 2019 at 10:47 pm #

    Having 5 kids in 3 pregnancies is amazing I had two sets of twins

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