You cannot begin to understand the stress of having to attend four holidays has on a person/couple/family. You have never had to do two holidays, yet alone four. So I’m going to try and explain my point of view.
When I had two holidays as a child, it was stressful for me, and I never enjoyed it. However, I loved my family and it was always nice to see everyone all in one day, so I smiled and told myself it only happens a few days per year.
Then I started dating my husband, who also had to attend two holidays. That’s when everything became a bit more complicated, because now- if we wanted to spend holidays together (which we did) – we had to attend FOUR.
We got lucky at first, Christmas was pretty easy, Easter was OK, but then there was Thanksgiving. Most people eat Thanksgiving dinner AROUND the same time- so how would we attend all four?
We somehow have done it all these years, my wonderful husband has said many times that we didn’t need to, but I worried about ALL of YOUR feelings. I didn’t want anyone to be upset or offended. I didn’t want anyone to think one family was more important then the others.
Then we got married, and then I got pregnant, and I laid in bed worrying about the holidays to come. I said to my husband- “I don’t want to drag this baby around to four different houses across the East Valley. Everyone is going to want to see her though”. He told me not to worry about anyone else, that it would all workout, and everyone would understand.
Then along came Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas and I found myself attending all 4 still, with baby in tow. I didn’t want to upset or offend anyone.
Now here we are, on year two, and I am DONE. I watch others who RELAX on holidays, enjoy their glass of wine and spend time with their families. While I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, constantly looking at the clock thinking- “in 10 minutes we need to leave to get to the next house in time”. I have yet to ENJOY a holiday, or my day off.
Try to remember what it was like when you had a toddler, when you were still figuring our life with a small child who needs you. I’m sure your first holidays were hard… trying to figure out nap times and holiday meals. Now imagine that multiplied by four.
So this year, instead of being a stressed ball of worry, I’m sitting out. It’s not because I don’t love you- I promise it’s quite the opposite actually. I feel INCREDIBLY blessed to have 8 parents, and OVERJOYED to have so much family to love and care for.
This year though- I’m going to worry about myself, MY sanity, and MY happiness. I’m going to worry about this little family of my own. It will make us happy to RELAX on holidays, and enjoy our day off. So, I’m sitting Thanksgiving out. We would love to see you, and you are welcome to come by, or you are more than welcome to make plans with us the day before or after the holiday.
But this year, we won’t be running across the East Valley, and we will be figuring out a fair holiday rotation from now on. This year, I’m going to be selfish. This year- I’m out!
Promise I Love You,