Connecting with Mom’s

When I first became a Mom, I so desperately craved relationships with other Mom’s who knew exactly what I was going through. Only another Mom can understand the way you feel your first week post-partum, or the excitement you felt the first time your baby smiled at you. Only a seasoned Mom can encourage you when you are beyond exhausted from being up all night with a newborn, or who will understand the way you worry about your children even as they grow up. For me, having those relationships were so crucial & still are. However, I am now in a new stage of life and I am craving relationships with other Mom’s who are married to someone in the medical field. Let me explain…

My husband completed 4 years of medical school, during that time we also had two babies. Times were hard, but I knew a few other wives & mom’s whose husbands went to school with my husband. We would meet up every now and then to talk about our financial struggles from living off student loans, we would talk about how much we miss our husbands when they have their noses stuck in a book 24 hours a day, & share how we could not wait for the schooling to finally come to an end. I felt like we all understood each other and if we needed someone to talk to or complain to, we could. After the schooling ended, all of us moved on to new places for residency. We are still in contact, but not like before, & not face to face.

Which brings me to where we are today. My husband is a first year intern {with 4 years to go} and he works a LOT! He also still studies during his time off, and he makes a very minimum wage for the time he puts in. We struggle. And I often times feel very alone. Sure, I have friends who have kids & a husband who works a lot. But they don’t always understand when your husband has to work a night shift for a month, or when he has to be on-call through the night & could leave at the drop of a hat. They don’t know what it is like to have your husband come home to tell you he lost a patient that day & had to tell the family their loved one was gone. There is just so much that comes with being married to someone in the medical profession that only someone in the profession can understand. And I feel it is that way with so many professions. I can not imagine the fear that a wife feels as her husband is off fighting in war, not knowing when or if he will come home. Or a wife whose husband is a police officer and puts his life in danger on a daily basis. I will never know what that is like.

Which is why I find that it is so important to have a group of friends who do know what it is like. Each of us have struggles, regardless of how they compare to others, we all go through them. And I know that having a friend who can be with you and know how you feel can be so encouraging and good for our soul. Since starting residency my husband & I moved our family to a new part of town where we didn’t know anyone. We have started to feel comfortable here and we know some families now, however, none of them are going through a similar stage of life as us. I so desperately want to meet a Mom who has {or did have} a husband in the midst of residency. I would love to hear their stories and struggles. I would also love to hear encouragement from Mom’s who made it through the dark days of residency and emerged as a stronger family!

So how about you, do you feel it is important to have connections with Mom’s who are going through situations similar to yours? Do you find it encouraging? Or do you find yourself shying away from people like you to help you forget the daily struggles? Do you reach out to others in your situations? 

If you are currently married to someone in medical school, in residency, or a doctor who has already been through it all, I would LOVE to meet you. I have so many questions!! Also, I am here if anyone is currently going through something similar to us, and if you have questions for me, I would love to answer them!!!