Do you remember the days before you became a mom? The days that were dictated by your schedule and your schedule alone? The days when you could come and go as you please without worrying about being home for nap time? I remember them quite clearly after today’s outing to a baseball game.
My husband and I took our daughter to her first Cubs game and her fourth MLB game. We made it through six innings before the meltdown ensued and collectively I probably watched one. Six innings is well over 50% so I’ll chalk that one up as a win. I didn’t even have a single beer either. Life with a baby sure does change things.
The pre-mom me would have probably rolled her eyes at me. I was a different human back then. I had different priorities, a different outlook on life and a different idea of what constitutes a good time.
Now, let me be clear, baseball + beer = great time. That itself hasn’t changed. I have changed. This is an “it’s not you, it’s me” kind of thing.
The minute my daughter entered this world and locked eyes with mine, I changed. Everything I was before didn’t matter as much because I became her mother. All of the things I enjoyed doing before her, I want to enjoy with her. All of the time I spent alone, I now spend reading children’s books or waiting for her to wake up so I can see her toothy little smile beam back at me.
My world begins and ends with her.
I never knew my full worth until she looked at me. I never felt this kind of love until she looked at me. And I’ll never be the woman I was before because she looked at me.
So, tonight, when we left early, my mind began to wander back to days of old. But as soon as we were home and I was putting her to bed, she looked at me and I remembered…
No one knows me like she knows me. No one else makes me want to be better at everything I do. No one loves me like she loves me. And no one is ever going to look at me the way she looks at me because I am her mother and her whole world. And she mine.