As a mom, I feel like guilt is inevitable. Are we feeding our kids the right things, spending enough time with them, giving them the support that they need, it’s a constant never ending struggle. As a working mom, I sometimes feel the guilt overcome me as I try to balance my family and work life. Sometimes I feel like I am being pulled in more directions then I can handle.
I am both fortunate, and sometimes unfortunate, to be able to bring my kids to work with me. I say both because I love being able to have my kids with me all day. I am still able to interact with them, watch them grow, meet milestones and so forth. But sometimes it is hard to get work done, when they know you are there and are constantly wanting my attention. Thankfully my kids have grown up with my coworkers, so they have become our village and family.
Trying to find the balance and overcome the guilt is hard. I have a daughter in 1st grade and a son in preschool. This means there are lots of field trips, performances, drop offs, pick ups, lunch times and other activities. As much as I would love to attend every event, sometimes it is just not possible. I have spent a lot of time trying to find a balance between work and being a mom, and trying to feel less guilty about missing things on both sides.
Often times my son and daughter are sad because I do parent drop off and don’t walk them into school. It just isn’t feasible most days as I go straight to work from drop off. I also have to rely on my village to help make some of these things happen. My momma heart breaks and of course guilt always comes. “Jane’s mom always walks her in, why don’t you walk me in?” “Jane’s mom is always volunteering in our class, why don’t you volunteer in my class mom?” I feel like there are so many moments that I am missing out on, and sometimes it is hard to explain to my children that I can’t be to everything because I am working. Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped push away the guilt and keep a little balance.
- Take an extra few minutes- This I have learned is so important in a child’s eyes. To them, a few minutes can seem like hours. So even when I am rushing around, or in a hurry, I take the few extra minutes to walk my daughter into school. Or I take an extra few minutes to turn down the music on our way to school and we just talk. Just a few minutes can really make an impact.
- Make time for field trips – When I can, I try to clear my schedule for field trips. While I may not be able to volunteer in the classroom on a regular basis, I can make time for field trips, and spend the whole day, or most of it, with my child.
- Never miss a special performance – Luckily most of my daughters performances are at night when my schedule is more open. I have made it a point to never miss a performance, and this has helped calm some of my guilt for missing other things.
Over the years I have realized that my kids are growing up in what seems like the blink of an eye. I have the rest of my life to work, but only so many years to watch my kids to grow up. This has helped ease the guilt of missing work. I love my job and I still do my best to find the balance, but my family always comes first. I hope when my kids are older they remember that I did my best to balance work and home life, and eventually kicked away the guilt.
