For as long as I can remember I have always been a planner and researcher. So, when I found out I was pregnant, I went into hyper planning mode. I bought and read all the books, blogs, and asked friends for advice. My first thought was there is no way a baby is coming out of my vagina! See, I have previously had a hemorrhoidectomy and had stitches and pain in the perineal area and I 100% did not want to go through that again. So, in my mind at the time I was going to have a planned c-section. I think I was in my second trimester when my plan was to have as much as a natural birth as I could. A complete 180, I know. Now, I wouldn’t say that I am a crunchy mom, but I am a conscious one. I used “The Mama Natural Pregnancy and Childbirth” book by Genevieve Howland as my guide. After months of researching and weighing out the pros and cons, I decided on a plan that would best meet the needs of my baby and myself. I know that everyone has their own opinions and my family definitely shared theirs with me. In the end, all that mattered is that I felt safe and confident in the choices that I had made.
On the day my water broke, I had no other symptoms and still had two weeks until my due date. My adrenaline kicked in and I became excited. I knew that my bags were packed, my essential oils were packed, my Fridamom peri bottle was packed, and we were good to go. Nope! We never installed the car seat and I hadn’t made my padsickles yet. So, there I was, last minute (so not type A) making padsickles and installing the car seat as my amniotic fluid is dripping down my legs. We checked into the hospital and I handed over my thoughtfully planned out birth plan with visual aids. My nurses and healthcare team were very understanding and supported my choices.
Well, it had been about 6 hours since my water broke and contractions hadn’t started yet so, they decided to give me some Pitocin to get the contractions started. I knew we needed to get labor rolling so I agreed. Oh boy did the contractions start after that! I was having around 3 every ten minutes and pain was getting hard to manage on my own. I asked for something to help with the pain. It took them some time to find something they could give me as I am allergic to Morphine and Demerol. I was finally able to get pain medicine and the pain relieved some but not enough to allow me to rest. I finally broke down and asked for the epidural…should have requested that a long time ago. After that things were progressing. I had this insane urge to push like I had to poop. We called the nurse in and she checked me. She said I was still at 7cm dilated which I couldn’t understand. How could I be in this much pain and my body is telling me to push? She then told us that my cervix was swollen so the baby was pushing his way out, but my body wasn’t ready. She said that for this situation they administer Benadryl and check back in an hour to see if it helps bring down the swelling and if not, they would have to do a c-section. All I could think to myself was, “THIS WAS NOT PART OF MY PLAN!” At this point, I had been in labor for almost 24 hours after my water had broken. I was tired, emotional, and stressed. My mom knew that I was having a hard time and talked me through my choices. I didn’t have time to research my options like I normally do, I had to make a choice right then and there. I had to step outside my comfort zone and make the best choice for that moment for my baby and me. I called the nurse back in and told her that we were going to skip the Benadryl and go straight for the c-section. I didn’t want to put my baby and myself through anymore stress. My c-section was scheduled for an hour later.
After 15 hours of labor and detouring completely off my birth plan, my beautiful baby boy was born into this world via c-section. I learned that not every choice or decision needs to be planned and executed. That it is ok to make choices in that moment and not stress about it and to just let life happen.