A National Guard family shares how mom solo parents during deployments

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Today we’re talking about temporary “solo parenting” hacks when your family’s routine is thrown off when dad is gone.

As a National Guard spouse, I’ve navigated solo parenting periods our whole parenthood journey while my husband is away serving our country. Sometimes it’s for a weekend training, sometimes for three months to Germany. 

Even if your spouse isn’t in the military, when they travel for work/bachelor parties/hunting, it affects home routines and support. 

When my husband is away, I miss having someone to tag team with, and I wouldn’t say we’ve gotten used to it, but we have gotten a lot better at managing it.

I’m sharing a few tips that I’ve learned along the way that have helped me deal with those “solo parent” times.

Organization/Preparation in Advance

Having a fridge stocked, laundry somewhat done, and the house tended to before he leaves has helped me feel more at ease.

Keep yourself and kids busy- 

My kids are 5 and 3 and I can’t tell you how bad the weekends drag if we don’t have things to occupy our time. 

Plan play dates, RSVP yes to those birthday parties, visit family. Our days tend to go better when we have at least one big activity planned and we get outside of the house. 

Seek adult interaction 

I’m sure this goes for everyone but when your kids are the only interaction you’ve had all day you can go a little crazy. If your not able to visit with family or friends, make those phone calls.

Talking with your best friend or having a good conversation with your mom who is miles away is good for the soul, and helps you feel like you’re not alone.

Lower your expectations

I thrive on structure. But when you’re playing mommy and daddy for any extended period of time, some rules or expectations go out the window.

Cereal for dinner is acceptable and bedtime routines…well what is that? Just do your best and thats all any mom can do. The kids are alive and happy and thats a win!

Fill your own cup

I’m a better mom when I take the time for myself every now and then. Once the kids are in bed, grab a drink, your favorite book, and take a bubble bath. And have something bigger planned (like a massage or a pedicure) once your husband is back and you can refuel yourself.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Those are some great tips! Times without daddy are certainly tough, no matter what the reason for their absence. I definitely agree with planning ahead (make sure you’ve packed enough snacks/nap time supplies so no one gets grumpy!) and making sure to get out of the house and keep busy. I know I just about went crazy solo-parenting it on the trip back home. All those little things really help keep everyone sane.

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