I have separation anxiety.
I suppose the first step is admitting this. I have separation anxiety from my child. It has progressively gotten better over time, and I hope that it will continue to get better, but I am currently stuck in a rut.
I often hear stories of people who go out on long romantic dates with their husbands, or even take a vacation without their children and I have truly not been able to comprehend how. HOW do you trust someone enough to be with your kid(s) for that amount of time?
When I had my daughter, I stayed home with her for a year. It was what was best for our family at the time, and I will say that going back to work has been a huge adjustment for me. It has forced me to deal with my separation anxiety. However, it is still there. When I am not home, I worry constantly. I know that all parents worry about their children, but I also know that most parents let people watch their children. We are very blessed that my daughter only goes to childcare two days a week, and that we have someone I have learned to trust care for her.
Here is my problem: When I am not working, I don’t ever want to ask anyone to watch my daughter. What is the point? I can bring her with me, or just not go. I feel that every second I am not working I should be with her.
I think about people in my life who I could potentially let watch my daughter, and then think of reasons why they shouldn’t. I know that is wrong, and I will never get to do certain things because of this. But I truly do not know how to get past it.
I wish I could end with advice for others who feel like me, I wish that I could provide some sort of support. In the end, all I can offer is my ear to listen to those who feel like me.