I will never forget the day that the doctor told me I was having twins.
I sat in my car and cried, there were so many emotions running through my mind. Not to mention pregnancy hormones. There was fear and excitement, the overwhelming thought of how I was going to take care of them and the two other kids I already had. I remember coming home and telling my big kids, that mom was having two babies, one boy and one girl and they were so excited. The twins were born the day before my daughters birthday. THE.DAY.DEFORE! I was in the hospital on her birthday, I didn’t get to bring treats for her class (although grandma made sure she did). I missed an assembly honoring her for the great job she was doing in school. Already I felt the heavy weight of trying to figure out how I was going to balance everything.
The last 2 1/2 years have been a whirl wind to say the least. Because of no fault of their own, the twins just take a lot of my time. In the beginning my older kids were great help, they thought it was so fun to feed and hold the babies. We would all hang out as a family while the babies lounged in our laps. Fast forward to today, we now have two toddlers. Everyone knows how much fun toddlers can be, or how much of a terror they can be. They cannot be left alone without getting into ANYTHING and everything. My big kids don’t find this amusing at all. Patience is running thin as nothing is safe. Especially now that they can open doors. They get into all of my daughters special toys and are constantly misplacing my sons favorite toys and I have noticed it is starting to take a toll on them.
As much as I need a break from my wonderful toddlers, I have decided it is just as important for my big kids to get a break too. They have been so patient, up until this point, and haven’t had much of my undivided attention the past few years. We have now made it a point to take the big kids out on dates and even little things like quick runs to the grocery store. There seems to be a change in them, when they get the one on one time. They have more patience, they feel more loved. They know they are seen. If I could tell my big kids anything it would be thank you for your patience, thank you for sticking by me, thank you for helping me and loving me despite my journey in trying to find some sort of balance. Thank you for being content with the time you have had, and for never complaining. I know life may seem a little crazy right now, but someday we will look back and laugh at the craziness. They say the days are long but the years are short and I am definitely feeling this way too.