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The Pressure of Two


Two is everywhere. All of the sudden, everyone around me is pregnant with their second child. My cousin, my sorority sister and just about every other mom at my fitness class is expecting. But there is one person who isn’t trending with the number two. That person is me.

I am no where near thinking of having a second…ever.

The Pressure of 2 and multiple children | East Valley Moms Blog

It’s not because I hated being pregnant. I had the most blissful pregnancy. It’s not because I’m not sleeping. My daughter has slept through the night since she was nine weeks old. It’s not because I dislike being a mother. Motherhood is an amazing journey that’s well served with coffee, wine and a side of chocolate.

I just don’t want to. Plain and simple. I’m at a point in my life where I am happy and healthy. I have fully recovered from my postpartum complications. I am enjoying everything this life has to give and that includes precious moments watching my daughter change and become her own little individual. I’m content.

While I am beyond ecstatic for those around me who are expanding their families, it’s just not for me. And even though I am confident in where I stand right now, I still feel the pressure.

I still feel the pressure.

Friends and family are stating to hint and ask about plans for us to have another. I often hear “You’ll be sad you didn’t” and “She will be lonely without a sibling” or “You don’t want her to have only child syndrome”. I appreciate the concern people express towards my family’s happiness, but our happiness cannot be determined by what others around us want. It can only be decided by my husband and I.

He and I know the dynamic of our family. We understand our needs and how we are navigating our marriage and parenthood. We have goals and dreams outside of our vocation as parents. And that’s okay.

So, even though you might want to tell me how much I’ll love a second or how watching him or her interact with our daughter will be special, I ask that you please remember that every path in life is different and every story is unique. Don’t pressure me into something my heart isn’t sold on. When and if the time comes to welcome a new child into our home, we will be happy and grateful for the blessing. For now, it’s just the three of us and our pooch. Our little family is beautiful and complete.

The Pressure of Two (2)

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One Response to The Pressure of Two

  1. Doug December 4, 2017 at 7:53 pm #

    My wife feels the exact same way. You sound just like her! We have a little girl who will be 2 on Valentine’s Day. For along time we’ve thought about a second, but not really. The thought of having another child, and not devoting everything we have to our one special little blessing is a tad bit heartbreaking. The fact that there may be another girl, and she won’t be the only “Daddy’s girl” anymore is tough for me to think about. Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing.

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