Mamas- I don’t think its groundbreaking news that motherhood is tough, real tough. Don’t get me wrong, either: there are obviously times where you feel so blessed, so fulfilled and so honored to be chosen as the parent to your little one(s) but then there are those times where you may feel completely overwhelmed, unqualified, and ultimately alone. So what do you do when mom life gets tough?
I’ll admit that lately I’ve been feeling more of the latter. I’m sure it’s due to the mix of my toddler son having been in and out of the hospital with a recent diagnosis of Hirschprung’s Disease (I’ll save that deep dive for another post), unplanned intense house repairs that require us to live in a hotel for a month, and the fact that work is pulling me in 10 different new directions, so I’m forced to work longer hours, which ends with me feeling ultimate mom guilt. More than ever I’ve found myself totally overwhelmed and focusing to stop myself from going into a dark space. [BUT don’t worry! This post isn’t a ‘Debbie Downer’ of Motherhood.] The fact of the matter is that all moms have things going on; life has ‘seasons’ and it ebbs and flows. For now, my reality is that I’m in the “ebbs,’ the higher points of stress. And I’m writing this to share a few ways I’ve been coping and managing the stresses of work-mom-life balance that may help other moms who are also in a similar “season” but more so writing this to remind myself, that I can make it through when mom life gets tough.
- In those times I feel super overwhelmed (whether it be from the piling work projects, endless house chores, maintaining a healthy marriage and/or trying to keep my wild child happy) and feel like I’m going to implode, I stop. I take a few seconds to breathe and collect myself, maybe even go for a 15 minute walk. I remind myself that I can only do the best I can at this time, whatever that may be and that is okay.
- When work gets hectic and I consider finding a slower-paced job to avoid mom guilt of working longer days or travel, I remind myself again: In my life before baby, this position was my dream job and I worked so hard to get it. I had to change my mindset from saying “I need to find a slower-paced job so that I’m not pushed as hard” to “I worked really hard for this and I’m fortunate to have this career with great benefits that support my family and provide my son with the life I want for him.”
- Take a day. (I need to get better at this. Mom guilt is such a real thing!) Usually I’d choose to stay home so I could spend every possible minute with my son despite my stress and anxiety but today I went out. I spent all afternoon at the Scottsdale Fashion District, walking around and even had lunch by myself and you know what? It was amazing. I was only gone for a few hours until I started wishing I was with my baby but that was all I needed to come back feeling relaxed, re-energized and ready to play with and care for my little dude and it made the atmosphere better for my whole family!
- Probably my most important reminder to myself: I’m so fortunate to be chosen as this baby’s mama and so lucky I get to care for him and watch him grow every day. It’s truly humbling to see and hear of sick babies or couples struggling with infertility. My son is truly my biggest blessing (besides my husband) and despite all the low low’s that arise once in awhile, it’s all temporary. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, so for now I need to continue to be strong and stay kind so my son, Carter learns by example, too!
To all of you, mamas: YOU GOT THIS!!!
