Even before a baby arrives, the pressure of parenthood begins.
Do I want a home birth? Will I get an epidural? Then you go to your local Target, Buy Buy Baby (or maybe these days Amazon) and you have to make a million more parenting decisions.
Are we going to try breastfeeding? Pacifiers? What’s the safest car seat? Do we get the Rock n Play for baby to sleep in? Or no wait, maybe that is frowned upon? Is the baby monitor with the camera the best? We need to be able to see the baby so he doesn’t get stuck.
It’s just the beginning
We read articles about, this certain product it the best for this, and this product being best for that. Don’t use this product for this, and don’t use this product for that. Don’t let your baby cry. Don’t hold your baby too long (these are not my opinions, but things I have read or heard others say). The mounting bits of advice and opinions don’t stop – and become overwhelming. One day eating non-organic is okay, the next, the news is talking about the Dirty Dozen.
Suddenly, the types of schools have grown overnight. Gone are just public and private schools. We now have charter schools, gifted schools and Montessori type schools. Kids shouldn’t watch this. Kids should have limited electronic time and social media.
Birthday parties and gatherings are what I consider the “pressure hot spots”. During small talk with other parents, we usually talk about what extracurricular activities our kids are involved with. Things like music, sports, dance, karate, swimming…I feel mostly as if our children aren’t involved with a dozen activities, we’re part of a small minority.
There’s a lot of emphasis being put on kids finding their niche and being well rounded (not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with that). But it’s odd to be one of the few that doesn’t have a schedule full of chauffeuring duties, and the quiet that usually fills the air after I state so is awkward. While I feel the pressure of filling our days, I decide I relish the decision my boys have made just to be home together.
The bottom line is, follow your gut. Follow your heart. One piece of advice (that I’ve learned as well) that I find myself saying as explanation sometimes, is that each child is different. Maybe a Montessori school works for one, but not the other. Maybe one child is really into soccer, but that doesn’t mean the other needs to be. To each their own and should be parented as so.
