Discipline isn’t easy.
The famous quote is “I was the perfect parent before I became a parent.”
It is so true.
When my oldest was a baby and did nothing disobedient. I thought “ I’ll never yell or he’ll never throw a tantrum like the spoiled children I see in the store.” And I definitely never thought my children would drive me to the point of tears because I just COULDN’T anymore.
Recently, my husband and I realized we were too reactionary in our parenting and in our discipline in general. This made us frazzled, our children confused and frustrated and our home chaotic at times. So my husband decided to take initiative and bought essentially a parenting book for us.
Not going to lie, we haven’t been able to read much. Between our busy lives and raising our children it’s hard to get together to discuss and also read on our own. However, we have started applying what we’ve learned already to our approach in correcting our children’s behavior.
What we’ve found is not a special formula or a series of steps, it’s really a change in our mindset. Remembering, firstly, we are the adults and they are the children. We can’t take their disobedience personally and we can’t expect them to behave older than their age. Sometimes we as parents set expectations too high. My four and three year old sons are not capable of 100% obedience 100% of the time.
Secondly, we learned to speak truth to them throughout the day. Reminding them of the things that are true and good about them. This is as simple as reminding them that they are smart, mommy and daddy love them, the drawing they drew is beautiful, or they did such a good job sharing with brother. We are Christians, so we also remind them of the truths we are taught in our faith that God loves them, they are wonderfully and uniquely made, and are held by a biblical standard by their parents and by God.
Like I said, it’s still a learning process for us and by no means are things perfect. However, we’ve noticed that our kids are starting to understand their behavior and the consequences that can come as a result. I’m looking forward to continuing our better habits and nurturing our 4 children.
