Accepting help when I should is not a new concept to me, but sometime I just can’t. What isn’t new is having a “threenager.” My third one in less than three years. Yet, when my child starts foaming at the mouth because we have to leave the playground, I die a little inside. (Mind you, we are at a brand new school, that my husband also works at, so I feel like all eyes are one me.)
It was like an out of body experience, I saw myself shushing my child and telling her to take deep breaths and calm down. Obviously, it’s going well. She continues to scream right outside my oldest’s Kindergarten classroom all the while I have grabbed her from the playground like a sack of flour with my one free hand.
To add to the scene, I have a stroller to push with baby and my 4 year old trailing behind me as I am practically running at this point out of the school. Then it happened.
Another mom sees me and asks, “Do you need help?” She can see I am obviously in over my head with my rabid three year old and a stroller to push through the parking lot.
“Oh no, I’m fine.” No I’m not.
“Are you sure?” No, but I just need TO GET HER OUT OF HERE!
“Yeah, she is just overwhelmed.” Obviously and so am I.
“Why didn’t I take her help?”
A couple weeks ago I was complaining that nobody offered to help when again the “threenager” had a meltdown in the holy aisles of Target. People just stared at me, obviously struggling with my child and some of them had nasty looks. Looks that betrayed their thoughts “Brat.” “That kid needs some discipline.” Etc.
Sometimes I refuse help because I am embarrassed, and just want to escape judgement. I get anxious and overwhelmed. I don’t want moms knowing that I am a hot mess and my daughter isn’t perfect. Then again, who is?
There is always talk about how moms need to ask or take the help that is offered and then in the next breath we judge the next mom’s method of discipline, potty training, feeding…etc. Maybe we all need to be better. Better at accepting and offering help, watching out for the mamas and their babies without judgement, and thanking the moms around us that help in so many ways.