I’ll never forget the first time telling someone my birthday and they said “oh that sucks”. What? My birthday sucks? I never thought that, ever. My birthday is December 19th and I always felt it was perfectly placed in the build up of Christmas. As a child it was the greatest time of the year! I had a friends party and a family party all within a week or two of Christmas, every year. I always felt special and sometimes even extra special because I love Christmas and celebrating my birthday just added to the Christmas magic. Everyone seems happier. Lights brighten up the neighborhoods. Christmas movies on loop. December always felt like it was my month.
Then I became an adult and a mom and Christmas changed a little lot. Am I right? Sadly a little less magical and a whole lot more stressful. How many times have I spent my birthday checking others off my list. Or wanted to make plans with friends but didn’t want to impose on holiday parties, family gatherings and well frankly taking one precious day away from my mama friends I knew who were as stressed out as I was. What in the world happened? Adulting is hard. Maybe that person was right? Maybe Christmas birthdays do suck?
I asked my mom one day, how did you make my birthday feel so special and not an inconvenience and she said “I just made your day a priority.” She made me the priority. She never let one birthday pass without a celebration. She made the parties and the guest showed. I know times have changed and maybe the elves came out and we do add a lot more stress on ourselves during the holidays than is necessary, but so much is the same in our hearts spanning all the decades. Mamas want the best for their kids.
Now that my perspective has broadened and I realize how hard this had to be on my mom I had to ask my friends with Christmas babies, how do you do it? I will say the guilt still plagues a lot of them. They all have to do extra to make it special and have to be intentional about not letting them get lost in the Christmas rush. But I bet one major thing, their kids don’t know it. They feel special and probably stand a little prouder knowing their birthday is among the time when they feel magic is all around them. I wanted to share some ways these mamas do it.
Here are a few tips from the experts, my friends:
- Have a half birthday party in the summer (I was offered this as a kid and said heck no. Sorry mom)
- For early December birthday’s don’t put the tree and decorations up until after birthday has passed
- DO NOT wrap birthday gifts in Christmas wrapping. Universal HARD RULE (even if it’s all you have and you have to go to Walgreen’s at 9 pm in your pj’s)
- Moving parties up a couple weeks before to ensure guest can come
- Do not make a joint birthday/Christmas gift (unless the child is older and in total understanding)
- Keep the same budget for your December child as your June child
- Birthday banners next to Christmas decorations
- Special day no matter what (pick the dinner, have friends over, etc)
- Child having their own mini tree
- Birthday cake (Christmas Eve, Christmas Day whatever their day is, CAKE!)
- My friend who is an actual Christmas day birthday mentioned “My mom always had a room decorated for my birthday with no Christmas decorations, she still does”
- For after Christmas birthdays several friends mentioned taking Christmas down before their birthday and throwing parties a couple weeks later
The overwhelming theme I heard throughout my questioning was “we make them feel special” and I have no doubt in my mind that isn’t true. And I also strongly believe they do feel extra special. We are pretty hard on ourselves and I know that probably will never change but I just wanted to tell you that you are an amazing mama. Your hard work is valuable. Your Christmas babies will all grow up one day and look at you with extra awe at how you managed to let them only see the magic in their Christmas birthday. You are a rock star.
