Learning to Love Myself

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I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I have never been “skinny” and I can’t think a time when I wasn’t on a diet.

When I was 23, I got a handle on it and was finally at a place where I was happy with myself. I wasn’t skinny or even thin, but I was finally at a healthy weight and comfortable in my own skin.

Then I got pregnant.

It wasn’t until later in my pregnancy when I started having thyroid issues, that I put on weight fairly quickly. I wasn’t discouraged as I was so sure I’d “get my body back” once I had the baby.

I hung on to 40 pounds until I got pregnant again before my daughter was even one. This pregnancy was very different, but I still put on another 40 pounds and found myself at my highest weight ever. I had lost 60 pounds in my early twenties, so I just thought I’d do it again and it would come right off. Easy right?

Wrong.

Between failed breastfeeding, some PPD and virtually no time for myself, I gained more weight. I lost my confidence, stopped wanting to be social and basically didn’t recognize the person I saw in the mirror. Every day was a struggle as I looked at the clothes hanging in my closet with single-digit sizes and knew I weighed more than my husband. I was so angry with myself. 

Over the last 6 months my family has made some significant changes, the biggest one being a relocation back to the Phoenix area where we are from. That change allowed for me to have a fresh start and gave me a chance to put the darkness behind me.

Since moving back I have started going to the gym on a regular basis and despite a surprise major health issue, the number on the scale is (slowly) going down. One of the biggest changes I have made is not stressing about every meal or snack. If I eat something that’s “bad” I do my best to make better choices. (Life is too short to not eat the chocolate!) I am making a conscious effort to cook healthy meals for my family and limit my portions. 

And while I am no where near my desired weight (yes I know it is not the measure of all things, but I can’t ignore it completely), I am beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin again and I’m going to count that as a win. Motherhood is not an easy journey and I don’t think women give their bodies enough credit for the hard work it’s done. My children and husband love me unconditionally despite the extra pounds and I should do the same for myself.Learning to Love Myself | East Valley Moms Blog

I do think all mothers should embrace their bodies and love hem for what they’ve done, but I also think it’s perfectly okay to want to make improvements and be healthier. If not for ourselves, for our children who are watching and learning from everything we do.

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Cara Lespron
Cara is a thirty-something, Arizona Native with a deep love of the East Valley. She grew up in Northeast Mesa and is a Red Mountain High School Alum. She moved around the state a bit before planting roots in Scottsdale with her family. She has been married to her husband, Joey, since summer 2014. Together they have two kids, Braylin (6) and Joel (4). During the COVID-19 stay at home orders, they welcomed their Aussie/lab mix, Thor, to the family.  Cara started writing for East Valley Moms Blog in 2018 as a way to reconnect with the East Valley after living in Tucson for a few years. She took the position as Editor in early 2020 and added Site Manager to her resume in September 2020. She loves makeup, skincare (all things beauty, actually) and being a mom. She is an Artist with Seint Beauty as hobby. In her free time, Cara enjoys trying new restaurants, happy hour with friends, binge-watching true crime, shopping and traveling. She loves supporting local, small businesses, but is also a huge fan of Target and Starbucks. You can follow her on Instagram @caralespron.

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