I was 29 when I finally moved out on my own. I always imagined moving out on my own would be fun and exciting. When my time came to move out, it was stressful and scary. Not only was I moving out on my own, but I was moving out with an 8-month-old! Needless to say, there was not going to be any partying happening at my bachelorette pad. I was an emotional wreck. There were some issues going on in my personal life and I was recovering from postpartum depression, but it was the best option for me to move out and create a routine with my son on my own. I had been discussing with my counselor for a couple months about my anxieties and fears about moving out. We worked through them and I had a game plan. The few things I was looking forward to were getting to decorate and if I left dirty dishes in the sink, no one could yell at me.
The first month on my own, I have never felt more vulnerable in my life. I was a single mom with an infant in an apartment complex where I didn’t know anyone. At night I would double check the doors and windows and make sure they were locked. The first week or so, I placed a chair against the door to barricade it. When I would unload the car, I would carry my son and all the things in at once, as I didn’t want to make multiple trips. When the baby was asleep for the night, I would take a shower and leave the bathroom door open so I could hear if anything happened. I even thought about getting a gun to give myself a sense of security.
Weeks went by and it began to get easier. I began to settle into a groove and find myself. I still double checked if I locked the front door, but I didn’t need to barricade it anymore. My son and I settled in and created a routine within our home. It is a one bedroom, one bath and we share a room. I unpacked the boxes and hung up the things to make it feel cozy. I have created a space for him and all of his tiny things and I even have a space for me (which he overtakes too). I definitely skipped over the stage of a bachelorette pad and having parties. But, I now have a Joanna Gaines inspired home with toys all over the floor and toddler snacks in the pantry. We do have friends come over, but they come with their own kids in-tow.
They say that when something seems scary, it usually means it is a good thing and an opportunity for growth. This has never been truer than at this time in my life. Moving out on my own, knowing it’s not just myself that I have to take care of, but a baby as well was SO scary. Over the past 7 months there has been a lot of growth. I have learned and discovered that I am strong and I capable of anything I set my mind to. I feel more confident as a mom and a woman. I have matured and become more empowered. I may not have been able to move out earlier or with friends, but I am glad get to create these memories with my little in our first home together.
