I’ve spent a majority of my life worrying and stressing about others. I constantly worry about how others feel or making others happy, and it has been that way for as along as I can remember.
When I had my children, I knew I would worry and stress even more about how they felt, and their happiness. As most moms do. However, I wasn’t prepared to feel totally alone in my worry and stress, and have it consume all of my self-care.
If you read one of my previous posts, you know that I don’t trust anyone to watch my kids. Which makes it hard to take care of myself or even my relationship.
The amount of guilt and anxiety I feel when I try to do something I WANT to do is so unreal, I end up not going/doing it at all. Which in short means, I’ve completely forgotten what self-care is.
I KNOW that I need to take care of myself, and I KNOW you “can’t fill from an empty glass” really I do. You can continue to tell me all day long that I need to take time for myself to be a better mom.
The point of this is- I don’t know how to anymore, and I don’t even know where to start. I know I can’t be alone in this. I can’t be the only mom who doesn’t know how to leave her kids to do something fun for herself. I can’t be the only one who doesn’t even remember what self-care is. There has to be someone else out there who feels this way too.
But gosh darn it, I’ve felt so alone recently. I see lots of moms having spa days, going to the gym, traveling alone, and doing all kinds of things for them. I just sit and wonder HOW. How do I get passed the extreme amount of mom guilt and leave?