Can we have Best Friends Forever. Well, I think yes and no.
I don’t have a best friend outside of my family.
I did at one time, but one day things changed, after 10 years of being friends and she didn’t want to be my friend anymore.
It was the most painful breakup I have ever experienced and I know I am not the only woman who has had this experience. I don’t wish to experience it again. So I stick with a cousin who is stuck with me whether she likes it or not. Thank goodness we love each other.
Friendship between women is vital. We are born to be social beings and we desire relationship. Being a woman, I of course desire friendship. It fills me up, despite being naturally introverted and as a mom necessary to my survival to socialize with people older than 4. All moms need someone with whom to commiserate and celebrate.
Intimate in a unique way
The intimacy that is friendship between women is unique and your closest, best friends are the ones that know you better than almost anyone else. They’ve seen you in lingerie you’re going to show to your spouse later, they’ve heard you yell at your kids in a weak moment, they’re the person who knows ALL your family drama, and they’re the first person you tell you’re a expecting a new baby. This intimacy is treasured, because it’s unique.
That’s what made me too afraid to seek a new best friend. So now I share little tidbits of all of this with a close group.
It seems safer.
It’s easy to find commonalities with other women and relatively simple to bond over them, but I find it down right painful sometimes to open up. The fear of rejection is great, the stakes are high. The thought “Will they return the title to me?” is a constant question. Why do we feel the need to have just one best friend? Is it ok to be best friends for a time? I think so.
I’ve been blessed by women from all walks of life. I called them my best friend for a season. High school, college, single, married, motherhood all had one or two people who I needed over others and needed me. So to those I call my best friends:
Thank you, I’m with you, I love you.