Let me set the scene, I am standing in my bathroom doing my makeup and I hear a panicked yell of “Mom! Mom! Mom”, totally ignoring this as I have become immune to this chatter, the yells for me start to get louder and more frequent and more desperate. I yell back “Whaaaaat?” And they respond with a “where are you?!” “In my bathroom” I yell back. “Where?” they yell back “IN MY BATHROOM” I yell louder. We sound like we are hiking in the forest or some unknown region and have to search each other by sound. This scene can be and will be replayed in the laundry room, the kitchen, another child’s room or my ultimate favorite, the bathroom.
I blame a couple factors for this. The seekers for me range from ages 2-14 but the worst offenders are the 2 and 3-year-olds. Typical behavior yes, I am sure it is for the most part, but sadly I know I am to blame for a huge part of their insecurities. I am a “sneaker outer”.
I am a mom to 5 with a large gap between our two littles and the 3 bigs. Some may say you must have a lot of wisdom in parenting and I think I do. I know a lot. I am also really tired. This homegirl is 40 with a 2 and 3-year-old. Do I know better than to sneak out when I am leaving the house? Yes! I have read all about sneaking out is worse for your kids than just biting the bullet and telling them good-bye, but they love me so much. To say goodbye is such an ordeal. I just need milk. They’ll never notice I’m gone I reason with myself, yet always proved wrong with a text from dad. “They totally noticed before you were out of the garage”. Gah!
As a strong believer in natural consequnces for our actions is our best teacher, here I am being taught. Don’t sneak out. The kids don’t believe me, I’m on the toilet, now they need proof. They can’t trust I’m in the other room, they need to see me. I’ve created insecurities in them and I hate that. I know I am making light of this in a way, but the truth is I am so regretful for choosing the easy path over the right one in this area.
As hard as it is to break it to them I am leaving and will literally be back in a matter of minutes, I have to do it. I have to face their tears and their sad faces as we say goodbye, a little dramatic I know for a milk run, but nonetheless, my husband and I are now holding me to this pact. I can’t be a sneaker outer anymore.
Dang the right thing to do. Why is never the easy thing?
