I’m going to tell you something that as a mom, you should never say. I didn’t feel what every mom says they feel when I had my baby.
Growing up, I’ve always heard women tell me that the moment you hold your child you will feel this magical insane love that is unlike anything you’ve ever felt in your life. You will be SO in love!! I’ve been told it’s a feeling that you can’t describe but it happens the second you become a mom.
Well, I didn’t feel that.
When my baby was born, the doctors handed him to me, I remember looking at him and crying because I was happy to meet him but I didn’t feel any overwhelming love.
Actually right after he was born, I was wondering when I was finally going to get to eat. I was focused on that!
I remember my mom asking me, “Did you ever imagine you could love something so much?”
And I didn’t know what to tell her. I love this child but it was nowhere near what was described to me my entire life.
Was something wrong with me?
I thought maybe it was just because everything is so chaotic at the hospital, maybe once I got home with him I’ll feel that love.
And then… it still didn’t happen.
When he was a month old, I remember thinking, I LOVE him but I don’t think it’s how everyone always told me I would feel.
I swear every time I saw my mom she would ask me that same questions and I didn’t know HOW to answer. I’m pretty sure if I was honest with her it would HORRIFY her. I always made some sarcastic comment and thought it would go away.
The truth is, I wasn’t completely in love with my baby RIGHT AWAY like everyone said but I am now.
I think I needed time to bond with my son and figure out his personality. I think we needed time to get to know each other. I think it might be totally normal to love a child but not in an insane way RIGHT AWAY.
I look at him now and my heart melts. We’ve been through so many ups and downs together. We have had the best cuddle sessions. I’ve held his hand so he could fall asleep. He truly is the love of my life but it took me a minute.
I’m sharing my story because maybe there is another mom out there that felt the same way! I want her to know, there is NOTHING wrong with you! Don’t let other moms make you feel like there is something wrong with you. Know that you will grow to love that child so much it makes your heart hurt but if it takes time, that’s OKAY!
You are not alone mama and I bet you are doing an amazing job!
