Have you ever felt compelled to change your life because of a thought that pops up over and over again? I have. Have you ever wondered why the same messages keep coming to you no matter the time or place? I definitely have.
About a year ago, after putting our daughter to bed, I sat down for dinner with my husband to tell him something. I felt nervous about the next words that were going to come out of my mouth. Would he understand? Would he think I’m crazy? Would he want to come with me on this journey to change?
“I want to become Catholic.”
There. I said it. I felt a huge sense of relief. I had finally told him what had been wearing on my heart for months.
As we ate dinner, I expressed my feelings and daily thought about converting to Catholicism. I explained to him that the church we were attending now just didn’t feel like home to me. Sure the people are nice, the message is relatable and the coffee is always hot. But I still felt this constant emptiness in my heart. Surprisingly, he too admitted that something was lacking. We agreed to attend our first mass together on Easter Sunday.
My husband is Catholic but fell away from the Church with the hustle and bustle of sports, middle school and life. I am Christian but don’t belong to a particular church. My exposure to the Catholic Church comes from my maternal grandparents who were devout Catholics and would always take me to church with them during visits to their house in the summer.
So, on Easter Sunday, we loaded up and set out for mass. We arrived early to secure our spot in the family room just in case our daughter became fussy. We didn’t want to cause a ruckus after all since we were outsiders. The moment mass began was the moment my journey home began.
My heart and soul were on fire.
Since that day, I am forever changed. It’s one of the changes I’m most proud of in my life. This change hasn’t always been easy. There are days where I feel overwhelmed, unworthy and confused. What keeps me going is knowing I am being called by name. I am being welcomed home to a place where I am enough, I am forgiven and I am loved. God doesn’t make mistakes. His plan for my life far exceeds any expectations I have for myself.
During the Easter Vigil Mass this year, I will receive the Sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Communion. I feel unbelievably blessed to be on this journey. One of the best parts? I’m doing this with my family. My husband will also be confirmed during the vigil mass and a month later, our daughter will be baptized.
God has a plan for all of us. My husband and I know that He put us together so that He could bring us both home. It’s amazing where a little leap of faith can take you.
If you’re feeling lost or in search of something more, I encourage you to be still. Sometimes the biggest message is the one that comes in the silence of the day. Listen to your heart, because it just might change you for the better.