Finally after 2 years of asking I stood near our son as he squeezed his eyes closed and crushed my hand holding his and he got his ears pierced. He is 10 and has been begging for this for 2 years. Pretty consistently might I add. This wasn’t a phase, this kid was determined.
We had been pretty firm in our no to this request. We had no other reason for him than “he’s a boy”. He’d ask when did my sister get hers pierced, I’d tell him 3 and he’d ask why and I said because she asked. That was always my rule with ear piercing, if you can ask, understand it will hurt and help turn them and keep them clean, you can get them. So as you can imagine his response was, I am asking and our response was always “you’re a boy”. That was all we had. The older he got that answer wasn’t holding much water. For either of us. I mean if I told our daughter, no you can’t you are a girl, not only would she look at me like I am crazy, but I wouldn’t even be able to say that to her. We are so strong now to empower our daughters that isn’t an answer anymore, but no you are a boy still seems to be OK.
As you can imagine we have gotten some looks, some questions and some snide remarks and I am OK with that. He’s a good kid, a platform standing competitive skateboarder, basketball lover, and he has better fashion sense than I do. He spent a week in kindergarten wearing a suit coat and tie to school every day. He follows professional skateboarders and will mirror their fashion and is always expressing himself in ways that keeps me impressed. This was a way to improve his look. It’s all it was to him.
To us we thought it was feminine or maybe something little punk kids do. Not something our son needed to do. But when I thought more about it I had to examine the whole situation. Our son is sensitive. I’ll never forget watching Life of Pi when he was probably 4 and I look over at him in the scene where the Tiger looks like she won’t make it and he was crying. Like tears down his face, crying. As he got older this has become a common occurrence. He is a sensitive kid. I don’t even want to talk about the 10 minutes it took to compose himself in the theater after Pete’s Dragon. He is kind, he is warm, he is friendly. He loves his family and his friends. He comforts his oldest sister who has severe special needs when she is upset or having a seizure. He is a good kid. Would earrings change any of that? No. He isn’t a punk. Being a punk makes you a punk. Not an accessory.
So I stood there and held his hand and even with a pit in my stomach because we were changing a tiny part of his body, it was OK. It was OK because of his smile, because the way he walks with confidence and excitement with his new look. That matters way more than any insecurity I had.
Way to allow him to have ownership Kim! Great stuff!
Thanks Bob!!!
I must say after reading this you have given me the reassurance that I’ve been having with my 11 year old getting his ears pierced. My son has been constantly bullied his entire life because of his ADHD and he’s been asking for the last year to get his ears pierced. I had the same exact answer is you as in you’re a boy and boys aren’t allowed to get their ears pierced. but then two years ago I met my fiance and he has his ears pierced and now my son tells me why can he have his ears pierced but I can’t. The more I thought about it the more I had a hard time telling him no. as of today we are going to get his ears pierced because I believe he needs it for his self-confidence and to be happy with who he is. I am done listening to the stereotypes that say only girls can have their ears pierced or you’re gay if you have them pierced if your a guy. You should be able to do what makes you happy and that includes the child.
BRAVO! As a mother of 5 adult sons, I stand and cheer you. My oldest is 32, We went through this exact scenario only he was 8 when i relented. The only difference was that I also made him talk to people who had there ears pierced and bring me 3 good stories and 3 horror stories, so he could see that there wad always a down side. He did, so I did and now all these years later I have 5 adult sons, all with pierced ears, eyebrows or noses. We have been through an array of hair colors and styles as well as fashion styles and in the end I have 5 happy , healthy sons, 2 are married with beautiful children, 2 are Chefs marrieds to their work and one os a wild land fire fighter. And they all still wear thier ears pierced.
Thank you so much for your awesome reply and raising wonderful men!! Such an encouraging comment!! Thanks again 🙂
“Joy February 15, 2019 at 12:26 pm #
BRAVO! As a mother of 5 adult sons, I stand and cheer you. My oldest is 32.. I have 5 adult sons, all with pierced ears … I have 5 happy , healthy sons, 2 are married with beautiful children, 2 are Chefs marrieds to their work and one os a wild land fire fighter. And they all still wear thier ears pierced.”
It’s what boys do.
Lots of moms recognize that it’s what boys do. And so they let them have it done.
Like it or dislike it; it’s what young men and boys do. It’s the parent’s call.
The earrings look really good on your son. Nothing wrong with a boy wanting to wear earrings especially in this day and age.
I can understand getting looks, and some of that is just curiosity but I’m surprised you’re getting snide comments but I guess some people hold on to old prejudices. Just ignore the haters!
Anyway I’ll bet your son is the coolest looking kid in his class and hopefully may be a bit of a trendsetter. And is being an example to other boys who are thinking of getting their ears pierced. That would be cool.
And kudos to you for allowing it. I wish more parents were open minded about letting their sons express themselves.
I myself am an older man who wears earrings and no one cares or if they do they don’t say anything I have a teenage son who has no interest in getting his ears pierced (for now). But if he did of course I would embrace it.
I applaud You for allowing him to have pierced ears. The double-standard needs to go away, and You’re helping to do that. I had to wait until I was nineteen to have mine pierced because my parents told me “that’s only for girls” which messed with my head. I hope he hasn’t let any negative comments get to him and is still proudly wearing them.
I think your son looks great with his pierced ears. I am a 50 year old male with both ears pierced. I got my left ear pierced at 15 and my right at 27. Never regretted it and still wear earrings to this day. Well done to you for allowing him to get his ears pierced.
I think your son looks great with his pierced ears. I had my left ear pierced aged 15 and my right at 27 years old. Am a male and still wear ear studs now aged 50. Never regretted having pierced ears. Well done for letting him go ahead after giving him plenty of time to think about it.
Hi Kim! I think he looks SO COOL with earrings! I’m glad you let him do so if it’s what he wanted. While I will never pierce mine as there would be no going back, I LOVE my clip on earrings that I can wear as often as I wish to which I have received many compliments!
My 10 yo son has just started asking for the past month and I’m so appreciative of your sharing your story and the comments. Really, really helpful! Won’t sure how long to wait; want to make sure this isn’t an impulsive & fleeting interest. Thanks again!