When I was pregnant with my son over four years ago, my husband and I definitely planned on me breastfeeding, for cost-saving reasons and because we knew it was a good option for the baby. I didn’t know a lot of people who’d breastfed; my mom didn’t breastfeed us, and I didn’t really see much of it growing up. We were also among the first of our friends to have a baby, and everything was really new to us, so I kind of just expected it to happen. We bought the pump and all of the accessories.
I had my son Liam 3 1/2 years ago – a sweet, feisty baby boy. I attempted to feed him moments after he was born, and all seemed like it was going well.
But around day five or six, with cracks and bleeding, I knew that something wasn’t right. He would scream almost every time he ate, but I thought that maybe he was just hungrier than normal. It was never pain-free when he latched on, and I winced my way through each feeding, but again, I assumed this was just temporary pain. His latch would be good for one feeding, so I’d think, “Okay great! We’re getting back in the swing of things!” But then at the next feeding, I wouldn’t be able to get it to work.
To give my poor body a break, I tried pumping in between feedings. When I double pumped for the first time for around 25 minutes and came up with a grand total of one ounce, I knew something wasn’t right. On the tenth day around 3 a.m., we found our tired selves in the formula aisle at a 24-hour Walgreens with the intention of supplementing until I could figure this out. Looking back now, I realize that because I never fully got him to latch on correctly, my body stopped producing much milk, and eventually stopped producing at all.
Liam (5 months old) during our evening routine of washing bottles
I never let myself feel much guilt about it; at the time, it was what needed to be done to feed my son. By the time I called someone for help, I was told I couldn’t get into an appointment for three days, and while I waited, my milk dried up. I focused on feeding my son, perfected the bottle routine, and raised a healthy, happy, smart boy.
When I got pregnant again, I knew I wanted to give breastfeeding another go at it. I went into it focusing on the latch, knowing that it would be my best bet to make this time successful. I gave birth to a precious baby girl, and she nursed for the first time just moments after birth.
My milk came in just a few days after she was born, and at her newborn appointment, they mentioned that they had a lactation consultant on site if I was interested. I immediately scheduled an appointment and met with her just five days after my daughter was born. It was the most encouraging hour and the best $50 I’ve spent. I was given the tools to make sure I could give it my best go.
The first few weeks were by no means easy. It hurt, but I wasn’t wincing in pain the entire time like I was the first time around. She cried as she perfected her latch, but she seemed satisfied after she was done, like she had a full tummy. I would pump full bottles, so I knew my milk was producing.
Four months in, I am exclusively breastfeeding my daughter after exclusively bottle feeding my son. And honestly, I’m so glad I’ve had both experiences. Some women choose to formula feed from the get-go, and that’s what they feel is best for their baby. Some women don’t intend to formula feed, but it is how the cards play out. Some women choose to breastfeed from the get-go, and have a really hard journey pushing through. Some women come at it really easily. But the one thing we are all doing the same is feeding our babies and doing what is best based on what we know and based on our own situations.
What I did learn though, is that it isn’t always a forever sentence if you aren’t able to breastfeed the first time. Here are a few tips that helped make breastfeeding successful for me the second time around:
1. Have a plan of action in place if it isn’t going as planned, such as the number to a lactation consultant.
2. Visit with a lactation consultant the first week.
3. Have a breast pump at the ready.
4. Use lanolin cream after each feeding for the first month, no exceptions.
5. Give yourself lots of grace.
Photo credit: Erin Hicks Photography
