Eating dinner together as a family is a tradition that I started when my girls were born. It’s a tradition that I hope they carry on with their families. It’s a tradition that can bring a family together when nothing else seems to be going right with the world. Eating together as a family has so much power. It has more power than the devices that our faces are stuck in. It has more power than the bullies your children might be dealing with. It has the power to help you connect as a family.
I am sure you could start naming reasons to eat together but I want you to focus on just three. These three reasons can help you build a solid foundation with your children no matter what is going on.
To Make a Solid Connection
I took a quick poll on Facebook recently and found that not everyone sits down to eat dinner together. They are however making connections in different ways. Some families have breakfast together because their evenings are late and at different times. Some families don’t have a dining table but make sure everyone is present when dinner is served. The common theme is that families want that connection.
My rule for eating dinner and dinner only, is to turn off the television, put away any electronic devices and be present. We don’t have an agenda when eat but we do talk. Things that happened throughout the day come to the surface and lead to meaningful conversation. The conversation is easy and my teenager doesn’t push back. Having a solid connection to my teen is so important these days.
To Actively Listen
We all lead busy lives. Whether you are a stay at home warrior or you work outside the home, life is HECTIC. Admittedly I don’t always fully listen to what folks or my family is saying. I come home from work and immediately get to work on dinner or other tasks that need to be taken care of. I can also admit that unless my daughters sit me down or really call my attention to something I don’t really pay all of my attention to them. That is until we sit down at the dinner table.
The dinner table is my time to find out all the things I missed in other conversations. I have no other distractions. Take a moment to think about all the conversations you had throughout the day. Did you actively listen to everything? Did you ask probing questions to find out more information? It’s easy to say yes but what were you doing while they were talking to you? You were probably loading the clothes into the dryer or answering an email from your boss. This means you didn’t catch the inflection in their voice or hear that they have a deeper issue. It’s time to make a change.
To Make Eye Contact
When we first moved into our current place we couldn’t afford a traditional dining table. We improvised and used a square card table that caused us to touch knees at dinner time. We got a good laugh out of it. We were very thankful when we were gifted a rectangle table that we have space at. I was sitting at the card table one night and realized how much I loved looking into the eyes of my children. That eye contact made me much more connected to them.
With the business of our day to day lives THIS is the perfect time to make connections with your family. Your four year old wants to see you look at them and listen to their sometimes incomplete sentences. Your 10 year old wants you to ask about the math test that was so difficult for them. Your 15 year old wants you to ask about her friend that is having trouble with boys. By looking your family in the eyes it allows a much deeper connection. It allows for understanding, compassion, and wonderful conversations.
How will you make a meaningful connection with your family? What will be your reason to eat dinner together? Perhaps you will implement just Sunday dinners. No matter what you do make it count.
